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FAQs

Q:

I want a GAYDAR GUN but I'm afraid it will make my outfits look bulky. Any advice?

-Fashion Conscious in Manhattan

A:

Dear Fashion, thanks for asking this very important question. Our "in-lab research" proves just the opposite. The large, round bell-shape of the GAYDAR GUN actually makes your butt look smaller.




Q:

Due to my effeminate manner and pretty eyes, I am always without a girlfriend. Women just assume I am gay. Do you recommend I carry the Gaydar Gun to shoot myself in hopes that a woman will overhear it? I'm ready for your wisdom.

-Mister Understood, the super gay section of Fort Lauderdale

A:

Dear Mister, Sweetheart, it sounds to me that you are already past "ready" for wisdom and have landed right smack in the genius pool! YES!!! Nothing works better to dispel those lingering gay rumors than a Gaydar Gun "Oracle of Truth"--even if you have to point it at yourself! And if your eyes are as pretty and your hips as swishy as it sounds, you might want to invest in a custom-made holster just to keep it at the ready for self-shoot OUT convenience! And listen Sugar, you're not just helping yourself, you're doing the girls a favor by letting them know you truly are on the market, and you're doing the boys a favor because now they know they'll have to get you stinking drunk before they stand a chance... or maybe just a little tipsy!




Q:

Is it polite to publically "Out" people without their consent?

-Socially Mindful in Seattle

A:

No. That's what the "Silent Option" is for... You can turn the voice off!




Q:

Who IS the voice of the GAYDAR GUN?

-You Know Who: Grove City, Ohio

A:

Dear You Know Who, what a thoughtful question! The oracles of truth are spoken aloud by the shy and talented star of the GAYDAR short film, and co-creator of the GUN, Terry Ray. He would be so embarrassed by this spotlight. Good thing he has nothing to do with answering these questions. (Thanks Mom!)




Q:

I'm on a tight budget. I can afford to either buy food or buy a GAYDAR GUN. What should I do?

-Unemployed, but Bi-Curious

A:

Dear Unemployed, we know times are tough, so honestly -- skip a couple meals. It won't kill you, and you'll be thankful you've slimmed off those extra pounds when your GAYDAR GUN arrives to help you find the man and/or woman of your dreams!




Q:

I think my 32 year-old son might be G-A-Y. My husband says it's because I smother, but I believe he deserves a little extra pampering after spending the whole day up in his room quilting. But I worry. If I buy him a GAYDAR GUN, will it lead to "anonymous sex?"

-Bruce's Mother

A:

Dear Bruce's Mother, it's not guaranteed, but if he's lucky...




Q:

I've lived my entire life under a cloud of suspicion. Everyone (except L. Ron Hubbard) thinks I'm gay. But I'm totally NOT! Thank goodness for the GAYDAR GUN. Finally something that will set the record straight!

-Hollywood Leading Man & Talk Show Sofa Jumper

A:

You go, Girlfriend!




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